Sunday, 2 March 2014

Saved by a smile

She looked left and right, and as it seemed safe, she quickly left the house and started pushing the baby stroller down the street. Just as she was turning the corner, she almost ran into two soldiers who instantly raised their hands and shouted "stop". She swallowed hard as the one soldier stared at her, while the other peeped down at her little daughter sleeping peacefully in the stroller.

Her heart was pounding as she watched how he slowly lifted up the baby's duvet with the end of his shotgun. Suddenly, still in her sleep, her daughter smiled, and within the next moment she could see how a smile also spread on the soldier's face, and he quickly let the duvet down and shouted at her, trying to look strict: "off you go, lady!"

She hurried around the corner, and started to ran with the stroller until she reached the house where she was quickly let in and as she was still trying to catch her breath, she carefully lifted up her little daughter, sank down in a chair and rocked back and forth as tears were rolling down her chin.

The others lifted up the mattress in the stroller, and sent her a glance of gratitude as they took out the books and the documents that had been hidden underneath:  "these will mean a lot for the movement, thank you."

They smiled, and she smiled back at them before her eyes returned to her daughter, and a feeling of relief and hope came over her: if only it was enough, and that her child would be able to grow up in a free country.

She sighed and closed her eyes while the little face of the future revealed yet another peaceful smile.

I am participating in a fun festival of words this week, and you can too:-) This post is written for The Write Tribe Festival Of Words. Day 1, 2 March: 9 - Sentence Fiction 


56 comments:

  1. that was powerful!

    She took such a big risk with both hers and the baby's life!
    I guess its a small step for what we all desire - freedom
    Thank God she reached her destination without incident!

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  2. That's a gutsy woman! How much we tend to take for granted- freedom, happiness, love and books! Nice take.

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    1. So true.., happy you liked it:-) Best

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  3. She took the greatest gamble so that the child could grow up in a free country. I set out a sigh of relief as a smile spread on the face of the soldier.
    The toddler's innocence saved the day.

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  4. That must be the biggest sacrifice a mother has to ever make!

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    1. So true:-) Thanks for commenting:-)

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  5. What a tremendous risk she took for herself and her daughter and all that for the freedom?But I cannot fail to notice the soldier's human side of falling for the innocent smile of the baby.Some are ruthless and hard hearted..A very nice story

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    1. Yes, saved by a smile:-) So appreciate your kind words:-) Best

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  6. Beautiful, Eli! I could imagine the latent tension within her as she must have bravely kept on!

    Thank you for the great read!

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    1. Thanks dear Vidya:-) Hugs your way

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  7. It's so sad when people can't even take a simple walk with their children in peace. Poignant.

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    1. True Michelle, thanks for following:-)

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  8. Oh My ! This was so heart-gripping. I thought she was in a land of war or something. The twist regarding the documents was just so lively. Kudos to her for taking the risk, love to the young child, and congrats to you on this brilliant piece !!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Sreeja:-)

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  9. The fear of the mother is so well portrayed in your story and the courage of the young mother is commendable. Freedom demands sacrifices and bravery, she displayed both.

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  10. Oh God, the risk that the lady took, sent shivers down spine. Felt relieved when she reached her destination. Very well written!!

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    1. Big thanks Usha, happy you liked it:-)

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  11. Fear and courage don't usually go hand in hand. Yet here we find a mother's fear for her child and a woman's guts for a cause portrayed beautifully.

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    1. Your words make me so happy Geeta:-) Thanks a lot:-)

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  12. Wow.. that was such a HUGE risk she took. I could feel her tension. Loved how the baby charmed the soldier though. Children do have that power. Wonderfully woven.

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    1. Thank you dear Tulika:-) Hugs your way

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  13. Wow, amazing how she took that huge risk, but am glad it all worked out in the end :) Nice gripping story!

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    1. Happy you liked it dear Kajal:-) Hugs

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  14. nice... this would have happened so many times over the decades by brave faceless women who took such risks for their beliefs/ their children's future...

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    1. So true Roshan.. Thanks for following:-)

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  15. Wonderful story. Everyone is a human at heart after all ! A baby's smile cannot fail to touch.

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    1. So happy you enjoyed it:-) All the best

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  16. This gave me goosebumps...power packed story in just 9 sentences....we often don't realize how some people are still living in constant fear and are not really free!! Everyday is a fight for their rights!

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    1. That is so true, thanks for your comment Aditi:-) So appreciated:-)

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  17. That is a beautiful piece...short, crisp and powerful.

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    1. Thank you so much. So glad you liked it:-)

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  18. Very beautiful and relevant. Especially for those living in nations of oppression like N. Korea and countries at the brink of war, like Ukraine.

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    1. Thanks:-) Happy you enjoyed it:-)

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  19. Sometimes such risks are necessary to secure a better future for the children. I can imagine the fear that must have gone through her! Hats off to such Mothers!

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    1. So true:-) Thanks for following:-)

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  20. We do pay a heavy price for our freedom. It was powerful and grim yet the heart melted at the vivid description of the innocent child.

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting, I so appreciate it:-)

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  21. Great write up. The focus on the human element makes this story sadly applicable in so many places around the world.

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    1. Thank you so much, Emily. All the best:-)

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  22. superb, loved your narration....keep writing Eli cheerz :)

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    1. Thank you so much for your very kind words:-) Best

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  23. Beautifully written, Eli. It's so believable and could be true of many parts of the wold, even today. Still we hope that the next generation lives in peace!

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    1. Thanks a lot dear Corinne.. yes, always the hope for peace:-)

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  24. The narrative went from one nervous turn to another and thankfully had a great end :-) In nine sentences you packed a great story!

    Richa

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    1. Dear Richa, I am so happy you liked it:-)

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  25. Very powerful writing. Freedom is anyone's most cherished possession though we seldom realize it.

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    1. Thank you so much:-) So true:-) All the best

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  26. Wow! She must be very committed to the cause for taking such a big risk! Fabulous story, Eli, enjoyed reading it :)

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    1. Thank you so much dear Shilpa:-) So happy you enjoyed it:-)

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  27. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Jeena. So happy you liked it:-) Hugs

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  28. Whew that was a close call. And thank goodness the soldier didn't suspect anything. Could've been a costly price to pay for freedom.

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    1. Yes, very true. Thanks a lot for following Suzy:-) All the best

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